Before I started working as a sleep coach, I was a primary school and early years teacher for nearly 10 years. I worked with children of different ages, needs and backgrounds and if there is one thing I learnt, it is that most children (like adults) often find change hard, and need time to process, try it, and decide if it's a good fit, and then practise it until it becomes second nature.
The mainstream narrative
It can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that your baby or child's sleep can be changed within a matter of days. And for some children, with very specific circumstances, this may be the case! However, the vast majority of children will take a lot longer than a few days to adjust to a new way of doing things.
The worry I have for the 'turn your baby's sleep around in 3-5 days' message is that it is unrealistic for most families, and can cause more stress and anguish when the results aren't there, and families may have chosen a method that doesn't align with their values, out of pure desperation. The idea that you can 'teach' your child to sleep (a fundamental biological process) within a few days is not evidence-based and very misleading.
I don't want you to think that nothing can be done within a few days. If you are in a sleep crisis and really struggling, there are still responsive approaches that can make a big difference quickly. Your wellbeing and mental health is extremely important.
How long will it take with my child?
Every family, and child are different. For some, changes to the 'fundamentals' of sleep (nap and bed timings, sleep hygiene, how tired they are at certain times, how much overall sleep they're getting) can make a big difference pretty quickly. Usually within days or a week or two.
However, other factors such as changing the way your baby gets to sleep, or where they sleep may take a while longer to embed. These changes are often more habitual (not bad habits!). Evidence shows that on average, it takes 56 days to embed a new habit*. If we're looking to make changes to sleep in a gentle way, without non-responsive sleep training methods, chances are your goals will be reached, but it may take 6-8 weeks of practice and perseverance before sleep really looks the way you want it to.
Finally, we must consider the context. Context really is everything. For example, if you have a 15-month-old who is waking up twice a night, napping well but with no other contextual factors that could be affecting sleep and two parents with the time and energy to make changes, I would say a timeline of a week or two could be realistic. But if a different 15-month-old is waking up every hour, seems unsettled during the day and has just started nursery, the timeline will look different.
Don't despair!
Please don't think that this means you won't be getting any sleep for the next two months! It completely depends on what your goals are with sleep, but most families will see an improvement within the first few days/week, and it usually gets better from there. But change takes time and is often a gradual process. The first thing I like to do with families I work with is often discuss expectations and what is realistic when it comes to their sleep goals.
Why don't I just sleep train?
Behavioural sleep training comes in many forms, but the most 'extreme' version being the extinction method (leaving a little one to cry it out alone until they sleep) but the basic principle of all behavioural-based sleep training is similar; you can 'teach' your child to sleep by enforcing the same 'positive' behaviour again and again.
Interestingly, a large study into the effects of sleep training (full extinction method) showed that the average child took 23 days to 'sleep through the night' so there is no guarantee that your child will sleep better within a few days, regardless of what method you choose. Another Australian study showed that there was no measurable difference in sleep outcomes in sleep trained babies compared to non sleep trained babies by the age of 2. **
Every family is different, and every family has different needs. I'm not here to tell you to sleep train or not. However, I do believe the mainstream sleep narrative does parents a disservice by perpetuating the idea that change is quick (whether you decide to use cry-it-out methods or not!). Changing sleep does take time and often patience, but it absolutely is possible.
References
* Lally et al, 2010: Study linked
** Article referencing this study linked
You can find my free resource to download on sleep requirements for different ages here.
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